Friends. How Many Of Us Have Them?
I put myself in debt last year to help a friend out, even though I probably needed the help more than they did. I'm JUST digging myself out from under that debt now.
Anyways, I didn't say anything to that friend, because they needed the help & their life was literally in danger. When it came time for that friend to similarly help me out (although my situation wasn't as life threatening and to clarify, it didn't require them paying me back a penny), I basically got "sorry, but I gotta take care of me".
That person is no longer my friend, though as they pointed out they "did everything they were legally required to". Reality is, I wasn't "legally" required to do shit when I helped them, but if I was listening to all the ppl that were warning me about that person, that person would probably be dead. And that wasn't something I would have on my conscience, knowing that I had the (admittedly meager, last year was VERY rough, financially) means to help him.
Anyways, I decided to block that person from all my socials recently, because while I understand human nature and am able to forgive, I find the "forgetting" usually takes time. Out of sight, out of mind actually works for me. I'm good at forgetting the person exists, am able to focus on continuing to develop me and in time, the emotional wounds get healed over and I'm able to reconcile better. In other words, I'm able to "remember" without all the associated emotional rubble that gets left behind in situations like this.
The most important lesson I learned from this though is: keep helping people, but don't let yourself get used. If your relationship with someone is all give and no get...cut it off. Reciprocity is a law of the universe. And the universe wants to see you win.